Developing a sense of self at a youthful age for female can be very challenging and complex. Often we see girls morph themselves into what seems “cool” at the time rather than being true to themselves and their own identities. It is usually not until adulthood that females start to figure out who they truly are and want to be as a person. Young girls and teens do look to their peers, however as we know all too well, friends and classmates can be very cruel and judgmental. Parents can appear to be outdated and out of touch with the youth. Therefore what other places are left? Ah yes, the Internet and the digital online communities. It is here that girls can find a place where judgment is not an initial issue they will have to deal with. Going online, girls will find that they can explore very easily in terms of trying to identify with certain groups and certain forums to help develop their identity. This is especially true when it comes to developing ones sexual identity. Girls can go online and read up on any questions they might have and they can join blogs or tap into forums that help them figure out their own sexual identities. Young girls will log on and find that many girls have similar questions as they do. Online communities offer girls a space to voice their questions, concerns, comments and simple thoughts without the initial reactions of permanent judgment. When you are forming your own sexual identity it can be like trying to tip toe on a creaky floor in a quiet place. You don’t want anyone to notice you yet you want to get to your destination, or in this case have your questions answered.
In the readings, specifically the gURL.com excerpt, I came across the quote, “Girls need safe spaces…outside of the traditional spaces where girls interact with the larger culture…They need spaces where they can know what they know and try new identities without self-censoring. Without safe spaces, girls will not be fully able to discover who they are and who they would like to become.” I agree that girls need “safe spaces” to be able to talk about things they might not have a chance to with others or are simply too embarrassed. Although my concerns for types of sites like this is the example of that “one bad apple” that responds to a post in a degrading way and can lead the person who asked the question to become even more secluded in their private world. Usually there is at least one victor among the group that sets everyone straight as I saw here from completing this weeks assignment in explore gURL.com, “Indeed, it is apparent that one of the implicit norms of gURL.com is that one’s fellow gURLs are on the site to help and support each other. When a member ignores or defies this norm, she may find herself chastised for doing so, example: “eyedream: Excuse me, but glowbug had a valid question and you had no right to insult her like that. This is a message board for all girls. Girls have it hard enough already don’t they? Let’s not make it worse by picking on each other.” ”
When I went on the gurl.com website I guess I was expecting something a little more mature looking…but I wasn’t really thinking about how I would have seen something 10 years ago. It was a little overwhelming actually. But I have come to realize that online communities and the digital world can be very helpful to young girls in developing their sexual identity and their identity as a whole. It is important they know where they can go to be “safe” and how to take in and properly interpret information out there to become their best and true selves.
-Melissa King
I also noticed the other commentors chastising the "bad apples," but my main concern was the more sexual feel to the posts and how less informing they were. Because this weeks focus was on exressing sexuality, I went to the relationships and sexuality board. It was distubing to see how many posts were about sex positions and blow jobs, and they were not as informal as they were sexual. It was upsetting for the same reason you were upset by the "bad apple." The bad apple is degrading the girls and embarassing them, or hurting them. And my comcern is this sexually explicit language is going to hurt them by making them think that they should be proud to give a one hour blow job and brag about it, or aim for it as a future goal.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you on you every level when you say that girls morph into whatever they may see. My niece is fifteen and she started hanging out with these girls and acting out in school. Im not saying its their fault but she wanted to fit in somewhere and I guess these girls accepted her at the time. The internet space for girls to "be safe" has me question the moral of some people because some of these questions were just unreal. Where is the line that is drawn where it's just too much? I do believe if parents were more open with their children they probably would use more birth control and possible abstinence. These girls are being taught by other girls about sexual positions and worse...there has to be a line you shouldnt cross!
ReplyDeleteIt really is fascinating how girls police the identities of others, even as they form safe spaces. I've tried to come up with a rationale for it, despite the obvious (that is, that they're offended on a personal, moral level and want to bring the others in line with what their definition of socially acceptable behavior looks like), and what I guess makes the most sense to me is that they feel that this transgression isn't productive to the morale of the whole of the group. I don't know if that makes sense, but I think that in having a unitary understanding of where they stand within an identity that is formed in a group, then anything that transgresses against that misrepresents the group's identity. That is, if one girl is a "slut," that threatens the propriety of the entire group, composed of girls who are otherwise simply sexually curious or exploring their burgeoning sexualities in socially acceptable ways (heterosexual, monogamous pairings, taking pauses to preempt the consequences to one's health, self-esteem, and reputation).
ReplyDeleteyeah it's crazy...I can't imagine having to go through middle school during this day and age...I was focused on my sports "career" and the latest concert lol...yeah we had talks about sex but nothing like what these girls are describing on these forums. iNsane :/
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