Gurl.com & Sexual Identity

As discussed in Instant Identity, online communities have definitely helped inform girls about sex as well as develop their own sexual identity. Girls who are now connected to the internet inevitably know much more about sex and sexual identities than girls who were their age 50 years ago.

I was somewhat surprised to read some of the IM conversations in Instant Identity, just because I don’t remember having such explicitly sexual conversations at the same age but I think this goes to show just how much and how quickly the internet is impacting young girls. I thought the differences between the conversations among girls and the ones between girls and boys were very interesting. As noted on page 86, while girls talking to each other can be mean and confrontational and caring and understanding when talking to boys. This definitely eludes to the ingrained patriarchy that surfaces even through virtual communication.

I really enjoyed the Grisso/Weiss article and looking through gurl.com, especially because I remember going to the website a few times when I was younger. I feel VERY strongly about the idea that sexually active girls are “sluts”, and was really pleased that the article touched upon this double-standard. Nothing upsets me more, and I feel that at times girls choosing to wait to have sex on gurl.com and other forums look down on the girls who are sexually active, leading those girls to really believe that they are indeed “sluts” when it is not the case at all. I also agree that a lot of girls feel extremely self conscious when going into their first sexual experiences, and I find that gurl.com is a positive resource if it can allow girls to realize that there is nothing wrong with their bodies and that they should not be ashamed of them. Furthermore, I remember using the site as a resource when I had questions about things related to sex when I was younger, which was important for me because my family literally never said anything about sex to me growing up. If it can serve a similar purpose to girls everywhere and allow them to be unashamed of their sexuality, I think it serves a wonderful purpose. On the other hand, as Grisso and Weiss note on page 8, there is still the idea of female submission ingrained into gurl.com. From the readings and looking at the site, it appears that many girls currently on the site are so engrossed with making a man feel good, happy etc that their own feelings become second, and the patriarchal system strikes again. Girls do what they think they’re supposed to do based on the things they read on the gurl.com boards and see in the media, rather than what they actually want to do. Still, I do think that gurl.com is a valuable, safe place for girls online because of the fact that it allows for girls to communicate with other girls about issues that a lot of them don’t get to talk to with anyone else. It forges bonds among girls, which is wonderful considering all of the negativity that often comes from IM exchanges between girls. I think gurl.com and other similar sites can be huge in informing girls about sexual identity. By reading what others girls have to say and feel, girls can then begin considering their own feelings on an issue. This is crucial to girls who are learning about themselves and sexuality for the first time. Furthermore, I think its important to create more safe places for girls on the internet where they can ask questions, get advice, gain knowledge and be themselves free of judgment. Although it may take a while to come to fruition, a gurl.com with a less patriarchal tone would be ideal.