We Aren't Friends

So, I work mainly nights. Not all night, but it's unusual for me to arrive at my store before 4pm, and very unusual for me to be home before my partner is asleep. This means that the customers that I know are an entirely different crowd than the 6am-cup-of-black-coffee-to-go crowd that my manager imagines I deal with. There are a lot major differences in the kinds of people who buy a cup of coffee at eleven at night and seven in the morning, but I'll just list a few. First, the seven am person (Let's call them "Alex") is usually a professional on their way to work or meeting. They prefer drinks that are "skinny" or just black coffee. They know the morning staff, and usually have a conversation with someone before leaving with their drink. The eleven pm person (Let's call them "Mo") is usually a student who doesn't own a planner and needs to study for the next eleven hours because they have a HUGE text tomorrow and haven't opened their books yet, or a young international student from Saudi Arabia, there to meet with all of their friends. The students think Frappucinos have caffeine, and the Saudis order small hot lattes. All the night customers prefer to finish their drinks in the store, but miraculously have not learned any staff members name. The night customers, in short, are jerks. However, at night is completely okay for me to tell them that. Which is where this is going. (I know, I know- bear with me).
It is so much worse to work in the day, even if 99% of the customers are nice, know what they want, and communicate it clearly. Because for that ONE guy, you have to apologize for things that aren't your fault and pretend like this person's business is really important to you. At night, if a customer waits until they get to the pick-up bar to ask for milk in their solo espresso over ice, I can just say "No, that's a latte." This makes me feel better, and gives appropriate feedback to the person who tried to get a cheap latte. However, this conversation is really different when I have it than when my male coworkers have it. And I'm not the only one to notice this. A brief look at "The Customer is NOT Always Right" shows the immediate response of customers to women:

http://notalwaysright.com/additional-charge-for-unlimited-sexism-plan/18212
http://notalwaysright.com/an-open-and-shut-case/8497

Anyway, I was reading this part in Camgirls and this is what I started thinking about...
"To manage their emotional states, employees engage in two sorts of act- ing. ‘Surface acting’ is the equivalent of faking a smile or acting as a char- acter without personally identifying with the role one is playing. In ‘deep acting,’ the employee works to identify with the feelings she needs to project to keep customers satisfied. Whether she engages in the acting consciously or unconsciously, and whether she enjoys herself or not, this acting requires effort, which Hochschild qualifies as labor, arguing, “When deep gestures of exchange enter the market sector and are bought and sold as an aspect of labor power, feelings are commoditized.”32" (page 9)

I guess where I'm getting at is, I think women are expected are to be better at, or to do more, deep acting. Women in my workplace are supposed to develop relationships with customers. The men are allowed to just do their jobs for the most part, and be friendly. I have to field questions like "Where do you live?" "Do you have a boyfriend?" "What are you doing after you get off? Wanna hang out?" And the answer is: No. We aren't friends. You just think we are because I get paid to smile and ask how your day was every day, when you buy two minutes of my labor and about eighty cents of supplies that I have access to.